The Battle Cry Of Evil Smee

Hello! Did you like my last blog? Various Photos Of Mine Part 3? Because if you did, then you'll definitely  like this one!(:

Okay, so get this, I just had a sleepover with my cousin. Fun, am I right? #Whoohoo!
The first activity on the agenda was a pedicure...I HATE PEOPLE TOUCHING MY TOES! And she had all that weird equipment, like tiny little scissors!
WHAT THE HECK ARE THOSE FOR!? CUTTING MY TOENAILS???? I THOUGHT THAT WAS WHAT TOENAIL CLIPPERS WERE!?????
 No literally, those were my actual thoughts. She didn't end up using the scissors on me, thank goodness! But she did have these weird things for cleaning out my toenails. (Which weren't actually very dirty.)  Sorry, T.M.I  Let me tell you something though, they tickled! Oh boy they tickled!
I had squirmed in protest, but she had grabbed my foot and held it in place. ACK!

We also rode our bikes to the park, and sat atop a big rock, eating chips. Salt and Vinegar to be exact.
There was no one at the park, so we were free to be as weird as possible. There was a nostalgic playhouse that we used to go into, so we went in just to be awesome! She played with the wheel that was attached to it, claiming she was Captain Hook. And because I had the white and blue shirt, I had to be Smee.  BO-RING! I decided to spruce Smee up a bit. Don't get me wrong, I still talked in an awesome Smee-ish voice...but I kind of "Gollumized" it. Here meaning I talked more like Gollum
 (The Lord Of The Rings) then Smee. I WAS EVIL SMEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Captain Hook ( Eva) kicked me off the ship to the sharks, and since I was evil Smee, I put the sharks back on her. By shouting my battle cry, "I AM SMEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!"
Imagine that...but with a Gollum voice.
Just let it sink in...
Yeah, I became captain of the ship pretty quick. Then my cousin decided we would both be Smee, and became one as well. Then we renamed the ship, "The Jolly Smee."  Or...at least I did.  She didn't like it.
#Doublesmee

On a different subject, Eva and her family do this thing where they babysit for a friend.  The baby is so cute!  When she was over, we went to Chic-Fil-A and got ice cream, then followed her through the play place.
Yeah... it smelled like feet. But hey, at least I got ice cream!

Various Photo's Of Mine part 3

Hey Guys! Want to see some more photos? I chose to do another Various Photos Of Mine post because I have so much that I want to share with you! So are you ready?

I saw this awesome car. Isn't that
color just amazing?

Another eye! I like taking up close pics of eyes. 

I love that color of yellow.

I took this at a flower and gardening shop.

Another picture of that cool butterfly!

I don't know why I took this. I just thought it
looked cool.

Pretty blue sky!

80's, Tigers, and PIZZA!

Yo! How ya doin' my homeys? Ugh...rapper talk. Totally not my thing. I'll stick to plain ol' me thank you very much. I'm here to talk about my recent trip to an extraordinary place called  "Tiger World!"
Can you guess what they had there? Parrots! Oh...and I guess Tigers, but those weren't as interesting.
They were big, and beautiful, but not as interesting to me as they were to my dad. He was all like "Wow! I gotta see that thing up close! It's...it's...GLORIOUS!" Okay, so I added the glorious part, but he said everything else. I'm not a liar. I promise! (:  My family and I saw a peacock on our way in. I named him Dale. He was so snooty and wouldn't let me pet him! ( Okay, I didn't actually try to pet him...but I knew that If I had tried then I would have been eaten alive!)

My family and I were walking through Tiger World, when we all heard this incredibly loud...screech!
And can you guess what it was coming from?...Ugh...monkeys. I don't like monkeys. They're creepy!
Anyone with me on that?
Anyone?...

I took a picture of a headless duck! Okay...that came out of nowhere. Let me explain please, because that was a really weird sentence. While my family was looking at the tigers, I got bored. So I went to look at the ducks in the water. Kind of a Mary Poppins thing to do, am I right? Anyhow, I was gawking at the ducks when I decided to take a picture of the pretty white one! But when I took the shot, the duck's head went underwater! IT LOOKED LIKE A HEADLESS DUCK! DO YOU KNOW HOW CREEPY THAT IS?! IT'S LIKE THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN! BUT THE HEADLESS DUCK...MAN...That little joke sounded better in my head.
My family was busy looking at a lion ( who I named Steve) when I did this.

On our way home, we passed an old abandoned church where the windows were painted creepy red!
Also, there was a grave yard! Awesome stuff yo! Except for the...creepy...little...gravestones...overgrown with grass and...more grass.  I decided to stay in the car because I despise graveyards. And I was bored.
So I stayed in the car. There was really long grass that my family was walking through and I made sure to shout " WATCH FOR TICKS!" really loudly.
My dad  came later on, and told me that there was an opening that would lead us to the inside of the church. So of course, I followed him.

Before I entered, I heard this really off key and kind of  haunting melody flow from the church.
Ghosts?
NOPE!
Just my sister playing on the abandoned piano that was still somehow more tuned then ours.
Do you know what she was playing? THE SUMMER OF 69'
Ever heard that amazing 80's song?
I however, played the funeral march. It sounded super creepy.

There was a swing outside and I dared Sage to push me on it. "I don't think that's stable..." she said.
I sat on it anyhow. "Well, if it's not stable, then I'll have a scrape or two. Push me!"
So she did, and it was really fun! I even stood up on the swing.

That night, we came home and had pizza! Well, mom and dad had steak and other stuff, but my sister and I had PIZZA! Whooo!

All in all, I think it was a pretty good family day! I had a lot of fun!

My Birthday/ Lego Movie 2!

Hello again. My last post was about my smuggling experience. You remember? Good. Do you know how I mentioned that it was my birthday? Yes? Great! You guys are so great!!
This post is about my b-day party. Because you all know that it was crazy! Because I'm crazy. Make sense? It's plain logic. I told my mom, "For my birthday, I want you to let me wear funny eyeliner."
She said yes. So I turned it into a costume party. My cousin Eva came as a silly cow girl (even though she still looked REALLY fashionable). Her sister Madi, my other cousin, was a spy. My sister Sage...I don't even know what she was. All I know, was that it was a mix between tacky tourist and a colorful newsie. I on the other hand, was the villain, Catalina Kodak. Dressed in all black, but my   weird-looking blood-red lipstick created a flash of color.

We took pictures of it, which I have pasted down below. Please, take a long good look at Sage.
And then just think about it. I'll wait. Lalalalalala! Oh! you're back! Welcome. Shall we continue?

We went to the theater and watched The Lego movie 2 in our costumes! That was really fun.
Though, people wandered why I had this sinister look on my face the entire time. (:
It was my character. I was really getting into it.

During the movie, there was this person in front of us playing a car chase game, and Eva was watching. Classic Eva. She was muttering under her breath, "No, no, no, don't go there. No! I told you not to go there. Now look, your car exploded. Nice going." I was literally exploding with laughter on the inside; however, I couldn't let it out, because the movie was playing and important stuff was happening.  Also, during the movie, I had this HUGE itch on my eyelid. I couldn't scratch it because it would have messed up my eye makeup. Then I'd look a vampire. Go me.  Whoooo...
As a result, my eye was twitching for a while. Eva said she noticed and thought I was just being weird. Great.

If you like ICE CREAM, then come to my party! We had ice cream and brownies! And guess what?
THEY WERE HEAVENLY! Imagine me saying that, but with a choir backing me up.

So, I had a great b-day!  Eva slept over, and we went to my writing class in the morning.
That was fun. It was a very fun day. Eva got me a Lego Lord Of The Rings (my all time favorite movie) video game. She also got me a little journal and wrote a real sweet note. Sweet Eva!
Madi is taking me on a shopping date for her gift to me! EXCITEMENT!

That was my party. I had a great time!

Meet the characters!

Mugshot time! Introducing Miss Catalina Kodak! And
Trigger Finger!

More mugshots! Also introducing The Lady in Black and
Bruce Street.

Conniving Catalina meets up with the Lady in Black
to make a deal. 

A truce with Bruce. After the deal was made.

Trigger Finger suspects something of Catalina and her
sneaky ways. She doesn't trust that the deal made with
the Lady in Black was all that true.

Never trust a Kodak!

Bruce and Trigger Finger team up, but Trigger Finger doesn't
know how to be in a team.

The Lady in Black sighs with disgust at Trigger Finger and Bruce
Street.

Bruce Street just likes the camera.

The Lady in Black, Bruce Street, and Trigger Finger
race to stop Catalina Kodak on their pet elephants.

They meet up with Catalina Kodak at the front of
a gate where Catalina is trying to plant a bomb. 

                                                                                                  Uh oh! Catalina's going down!

The Lady in Black, Trigger Finger, and Bruce Street celebrate
at the movies. They don't know that Catalina Kodak is right there,
plotting her revenge!

                       

Snuggling A Stick

Hi!! The first thing I'm want to say is, IT'S MY BIRTHDAY! Well, a few days ago it was... but still.

I'm twelve. Congrats me. Anyways, in this blog, I will be talking about my trip to Tennessee and not my birthday.

I went to my cousin Cadence's house, and it was FUUUUUN! We took a lot of walks, talked about her school, made cookies, and ate out, and got ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!! 

But, that's besides the point. The point is, that I smuggled out a stick from a burger place. 

Don't ask me why...Okay, totally ask me why. Because I wanted memories, people! Why do you all think that's SO WEIRD!(: I didn't know if I was supposed to that though, because you never sure if you're aloud to smuggle out little sticks that keep your burger together or not. Okaaay...that was a weird sentence. Anywho, I smuggled out a stick in my shoe, but not before wiping it clean, because who knows what might be on it. There could be a weird kind of mustard from Spain that is actually poison. What if I decide to lick my shoe and there's still that mustard on it? That would be like
to-ta-lly DISGUSTING! And venomous.

My Aunt and Uncle were confused at first. I had to explain, "Well you see, some restaurants don't want you stealing the tiny sticks that keep burger patties together. For... recycling reasons!"
Can you guess what happened?
They were still confused.
Though not as confused as Cadence. "You snuggled out a stick?" she asked " How does that work?"
My answer to that was " I said smuggle." Though my thoughts were
 Not snuggle Cadence! smuggle! Smu-ggle! Like Smeagol ( from The  Lord of the Rings) but smuggle! 

We went to get ICE CREAM after that, and I was walking around with a stick piercing my flesh.
Pain? Yes there was pain. Why? BECAUSE THERE WAS A STICK IN MY FOOT!(:
Sorry, I tend to get loud when sticks pierce my skin.
Cadence offered to take it in her shoe, so I said yes. "Careful. Make sure the pointy side isn't sticking into your foot." I had told her, but my thoughts were Hopefully it doesn't stick you wrong. And that you don't turn into a foot-kabob. Because that would hurt.
Ok, I just grossed myself out. Let's talk about something more pleasant. Like...
MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm gonna sing myself a song

Happy birthday to ME! Happy birthday to ME! (sung really off key.)
Happy birthday dear ME! Happy Birthday to ME!

Second verse

Happy birthday to ME! Happy birthday to ME!
What's up with smuggling a stick? You'll see! You'll see!
I'M A LUNATIC!

Ignore that last verse. I use ALL CAPS  a lot. I think it makes a statement. Like, I couldn't just say
"Hey mommy! I really really like cake." It's got to be, "MOMMY! I REALLY REALLY LIKE CAKE!" Random ALL CAPS statement. Sorry. What were we talking about? Oh right.
Me snuggling out a stick from a burger place. Smuggling! Totally meant smuggling!
You see, the art of snuggling-smuggling is a hard one to learn. So I suggest you try your shoe.
Unless, you're trying to steal the statue of liberty...in which case...You should maybe try a different tactic. Sorry, can't help you with that! I got my own method!

THE SNUGGLING METHOD!

#crazygirl

Sometimes I like to dare myself to do crazy not smart totally idiotic things.
Things that probably won't make me benefit, but are totally out of this world fun.
Well... Most of them. And I'm going tell you about those times, because there funny.
First things first, The "Chipotle would never let me do this story!"

Have you ever tried eating a Jalapeno pepper? Oh, and what about one with seeds?
Did you ever think that  maybe it wasn't smart? I have done all of that, except I don't usually tend to think things through before I do them. Take this moment for instance.
Eva and I decided to eat a Jalapeno pepper, because we're super smart.
So, we both ate one. We didn't taste anything... until we ate it with seeds.
Piece of advice, milk doesn't help a single bit when your mouth is on fire. I suggest water, or maybe even soaking your lip in the unhelpful milk. ( Trust me, it helped...kinda)
Eva and I were seriously bent over the sink spitting out the spice, or trying to at least.
And the worst part... There were two kids that we were supposed to be watching, were watching us!
I'm pretty sure they think we're weird now. I hate Jalapeno peppers, they invade my dreams, turning them into nightmares...I'm shuddering, #I hate them!

Okay, so you've read my first story, are you ready for the second one?
This one is called " Oregon calamity."
Okay, so a little while ago, I was playing a card game with my family called The Oregon trail.
And, during the game, Eva started talking in a random southern accent.
BTW  this game is about traveling across the Oregon trail, and if you pick up a card that says something like " snake bite" then your dead. But if you make it across the Oregon trail then you win! Unless you die of drowning.  Cheery, am I right?
Anyways, Eva started talking in a random southern accent, and that started me off. I was known as the Crazy Russian. I begged my sister Sage ( in my Russian accent) to do her Scottish accent, but she refused. So I had to have enough effect with my Russian to cover up for her.
Eva's main was comment was " you ate all my rations!" Which believe me, she used a lot.
My main comment was " one day your arrogance will fail you and you'll find yourself in the deep depths of your gruesome gruesome grave." Do you know how AWESOME (ISH...) THAT SOUNDED IN A RUSSIAN ACCENT!?
There was also the occasional " what? You think that just because I have died of drowning that I won't still haunt you?"
My other cousin Madi and I ended up winning that game. I became the president of Oregon. We played that game for a long while, until my family got annoyed of me and said " no more Russian accent!" And I replied " what? But Crazy Russian is amazing?" Guess who won that argument?
me! me! me!
# crazy Russian!

So yeah, that was that story. I think you're going to like the last one.
It's called " my feet are numb!"

It was snowing outside. But not that nice fluffy, totally nice and actually comfortable snow
no, it just had to be hard and cold! And icy. And that was when I had the great idea to dare someone to walk in it barefoot. Guess what!? No one said yes, but  I couldn't let that AWESOME dare go to waste... So I might've done it myself. Yep, that's right! I stripped off  my socks and shoes! and WALKED IN THE SNOW!!!!!!!!
Barefoot may I add.
It was quiet intense. # my feet are cold!

Mom filmed me, and when I came back shivering, she asked me if it was cold.
" Well" I answered " my feet are numb. So I actually can't quite feel anything."
Then, she replied " oh. So its not so bad?"
I had looked up at her as if she was crazy. It was fun.

If you'd like to see the video of me being stupid, scroll down.

When A Six Year Old New More Then Me

This is Juno

Hey guys, I bet you're wondering why this specific post is called, " When a six year old knew more then me." Well the answer to that, has nothing to do with -irony. I'm not lying or tricking you.

My six year old cousin, Juno, literally knows more then me. We both take Spanish lessons, and she knows waaaaay more then I do. Guess what I learned from her? "Helado" means "ICE CREAM"!
That's just skill right there. My cousin teaching me the word for ICE CREAM in another language is brilliant!
I was looking up a translator app, trying to keep up with her. But, when I finally had gotten a sentence in together, she'd look at me and say " That didn't sound right?" Then of course, she'd look over my shoulder re-reading it, seeing if I had gotten the next sentence right(:

She is amazing! I can't understand her most of the time, because she speaks so much Spanish.
Eso es bonita gauy si tu eres preguntando yo
( That's pretty cool if your asking me.) Just so you know, I had to look up that sentence on google translate, that was not me just speaking fluently in flawless Spanish, and I'm not sure google even got that right. I'll have to ask Juno next time I see her.

Juno said to me in Spanish once, " I dropped my shoe out the window!" And I answered with a
" That's cool Juno." Thinking she meant something else. Of course, she didn't actually drop her shoe out the window. Maybe she just needed a distraction to set up a bug in our car because she actually works for the government, and we're the prime suspects on a case. Hey, it could happen.
Maybe she's fluent in all sorts of different languages because she does missions in other countries.
Oh no... I just set my family up to be suspects at the government!
QUE TENER YO HECHO? (What have I done?)
Or, maybe she's just being a cute little girl? No, I think she works for the government.

I'm realizing that I often use stuff in my posts like "They're working for the government!"
or " They're smugglers!" Have ya'll noticed that?(:

Anyways, what I'm trying to say is that I have trouble speaking Spanish, and my little cousin does not. Totally not jealous or anything... (I see what you doing) You're disagreeing with me!?

Juno is the cutest cousin ever! She hates it when I call her cute though. Uhhh... if you ever randomly bump into her because you're both going to Venezuela to help a monkey and an elephant work out a relationship  problem... can you maybe leave out the detail where I just called her cute?
Great! Thanks! You guys are just so awesome!
You know what else is awesome?
That I have one word in Spanish memorized.
HOLA.
Not really an accomplishment but hey... It's something!